No childhood to dream of

Poetry

I was born on the 24th of November in 1971.

My parents, just married, were still far too young.

Nevertheless by February 1973;

 another child was born, their son and a little brother for me.

With another on the way, the tragedy came and the marriage did cease,

due to allegations of an affair between my dad and mums niece.

From that day on and for years to come;

It was anger and bitterness that consumed my mum.

Left with nothing but her hatred to draw on;

We were used against our dad,

Like a poisonous weapon.

No longer seen as just children in her eyes;

But a reminder of the man she had come to despise!

Of course she was hurt and had every right to feel that way;

But not a right to inflict that hurt on her children every day!

Always she has claimed to have done her very best;

But we felt like a burden making her life one of misery and detest!

What happened between our parents did hit mum very hard;

But it wasn't our fault, yet it's us children who bear all the scars!

At the time, we were too young to understand,

 with no memory of what happened first hand.

As a mother that hurt we should have been protected from 

but instead her overwhelming hatred is what she passed on!

Very cold and bitter and prone to mood swings,

Her anger would erupt over the smallest of things!

This being an era before hitting children was outlawed;

Her rage reigned down on us blow after blow until we were flawed.

Even our terrified screams did not stop her from beating us,

Never seemed remorseful to see us crying in a heap, heartbroken and concussed!

In fact to cry out would just anger her more;

Told if we didn't stop it, she would really give us something to cry for!

So we learned over the years to take the pain and keep all the hurt inside;

The fear and our tears we were made to hide.

The physical pain she caused always did pass,

It's the emotional damage that made our hurt last!

How could any child survive without feeling anything other than self loathing and disgust,

 and able to understand love,

When all their pain came from the one person they loved and thought they could trust!